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Diary Of A Depressed Patient

Chapter Seven: Deep Red Eyes.

Like the Volcano erupts it’s lava to the earth, my tears burst out without care.

No care of who I try to be or who I’m with, where I am or what situation I’m in.

My skin boiled and my head ached, my body couldn’t endure the blow it had received.

I stood up and aimed for the restroom but my legs wobbled and I leaned to the table, took a sip of whatever was in the cup on the table and dragged myself out of sight.

I rinsed my sweaty face and my mouth, staring at the person in the mirror I started crying again.

I thought of how to leave without explaining my red puffy eyes, running nose and coarse voice.

I would rather run than be left behind.

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The Rapture Is A Roll call.

At that hour when the world is busy like never before.

At the hour when my work on earth I some, when I and my saviour are One. I shall hear my name.

The world will be distracted, they wouldn’t even care less about the few missing people, their minds filled with evil and fear but the roll call is being announced.

The Rapture is a Roll call!

I shall hear my name and answer “Here I am, Lord”. Let’s all get ready for that roll call, What Joy it’ll be to be present and to answer to eternity.

I want to see you there, Do you want to be there?

Diary Of A Depressed Patient

Chapter Nine: “I’m a Sweetheart“.

She said I looked mean and proud.

It depends on who’s staring, I’m a Sweetheart if you get closer.

You act like you’re the only one who’s been through pain.

I am proud of who I’ve become and I’m not ashamed of what I’ve been through.

Plus your aura is deadly. So unapproachable, she continues.

Honestly I am happy with that, If I look unapproachable it will take people of great courage to walk up to me and I won’t have to deal with so many people.

It’s not a great thing. You could miss a great opportunity.

When I see an opportunity I will go for it.

You should really change your mindset, you’re acting like a child, not everything goes the way you plan.

I know that more than anyone but guess what, I’ve learnt to live life without expecting anything to go my way. And it’s been more peaceful.

Diary Of A Depressed Patient.

Chapter Eight: The Other Girl

I promised myself not think about the past

She shouldn’t get into my head.

I lived on and ignored her existence.

Now I wish I had just shot her dead.

As long as she lives I’ll keep suffering.

But…

She is still a part of me I don’t want to let go.

I know she is not the one I am proud of but she did mould me into who I am, She moulded the me who is still locked up.

I am who I am because she grew stronger.

She saw things in a new light, explored and discovered things I never knew I had in me.

Like how to bury your feelings.

But she forgot to teach me how to keep them buried.

One day. I will shoot her dead.

She is the other girl who must die for me to live.

But if she dies then who am I?

Diary Of A Depressed Patient

Listen quietly.

Chapter Six; Listen.

It feels like everytime I open my mouth, it’s disrespectful and rude to the other.

So I just shut up instead.

I found myself crying, there was nothing wrong going on, I just felt so burdened.

I wanted to be heard, understood.

I wanted them to be calm and listen.

I wanted them to agree with me.

I cried till my heart was at ease and I smiled like the world revolved around me.

And when anyone asked why Imy eyes were red awhile ago, I’ll smile brightly and say ” I had something in my eyes”

But you know what.

I’m not going to be quiet anymore

I’m not being mean or disrespectful, I’m just telling the truth and if they don’t like it ten they need to fix their attitude.

The truth is bitter

I can’t lie sweet to you anymore.

I’ll stuff them with the bitter truth till they digest it or throw up and leave.

I’m not a vase filled with tear. I’m a flower that needs to be watered with joy.

If that makes sense.

©️TXSB

Rotating Life.

As the earth rotates we too rotate.

Life is a rotating earth.

Peaceful on the outside, Hetic on the inside.

Filled with obstacles to conquer and questions to be answered.

Life is rotating clock

Time repeats days repeat, weeks and months too but we react to them in different ways.M

Monday, Monday again, Yay it’s Monday.

The little hands of time keep moving and if they stop, we all perish.

We live to die and die to live.

Like eternity, we have no beginning and no end.

We are the rotating life of eternity.

If that makes sense.

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